Damaged Beauty

4am
phone is ringing
I feel the pain before I see it
she’s got her disease
dripping from her eyes
and I’m nothing more
distraction
but I get it.

more than we can say
of the men who warm our beds
we know.
and she’s talking of pills
running home
back to the only thing that can calm a restless angel
oh hearts like ours
intertwined
around 18 years of broken pieces

she’s so damn perfect
her tears are falling
begging me to come home
women like us
can’t help but break
and once we start

my heart is racing
does she know?
I’ve got nobody else
but I’d understand
if she can’t do it any more.

I can’t do anything
from this far away
she knows everything I’ve said.
all the pieces of glass
I’ve picked up and glued back together
time and time
again.

we’re shattering
in complete solidarity
in our loneliness
and this fucking disease
insanely mesmerizing
another night another bottle,
another morning
please,
just stay
for one more morning.

Sisters

The chair in the corner lets me keep tabs on what’s going on in the house without actually having to participate.  I was writing.  My mama and one of her sisters were whispering in the kitchen.  I read some posts on their baby sister’s blog – about the four sisters, and the things they’ve said. I wrote some more.  The two were giggling away, trying on clothes upstairs, going through closets.  Then in the car I was writing in the backseat, and she fell asleep on Mama’s shoulder, just the way my sister does on mine, only a little less persistent. I hope we have that still, when we’re grown and our children are gone.  My sister and I.  Tonight, I miss her so.